I have been thinking for a while now about writing a post on how to get through a heartbreak or a bad breakup. It´s similar to the one I did in the beginning of this year that was about the things I´d learnt in the previous year, so I hope it´s at least a bit useful.:)
One of the lies that you might think when you´re are heartbroken is that you´re never ever going to get through it. While it might be really hard, you are eventually going to get over it. Some people say that it takes one year. I´d say that it can take less than that and one of the best ways to forget and move on is to tell yourself that it could not have ended up any better. Of course, you had all these dreams about how things would turn out in a completely different way but that´s not reality. The best thing is to rationally accept the fact that the circumstances (the people you had been at that moment or the timing) were not right.
Being single is the best time to find who you really are. When you´re in love with someone, it´s really easy to start copying them. You might think it´s you and that you love doing certain things because you don´t want to lose them, but really you´d be rather doing something else with you´re life. And when you lose that person, you finally realise that what sticks with you after a really bad heartbreak is who you really are and what disappears naturally is something that was never worth your time and effort.
The other thing that is really fun and great to do is to try new things you normally would not do. Cut your hair shorter, wear something a bit out of your comfort zone or find a new exciting goal in life…or maybe just surround yourself with little things that makes you happy.:) Keep yourself inspired during the new chapter of your life.
I know that things happen that are not fun. But you cannot give into your problems, you have to face them. And these were just some of the ideas that helped me a lot at the time when I was just crying, over-analysing and being so desperate that my life would never be good again. The good news is that life change when you least expect it and the people you might not even think of now will surprise you the most.:)
Have a beautiful Friday night!
You may or may not recognize the streets on the picture above. It´s Amsterdam and it all started for me there almost two years ago, but I don´t want to talk about that. Not now and definitely not here. Maybe one day I will write a memoir or an autobiographical novel about Amsterdam and maybe I will be lucky enough to have it published. Maybe. But that´s future. And I want to focus more about what´s here and now and that is in fact why I am writing this.
Since the middle of November I was doing everything I could to get to a university in the UK. All that was on my mind at that time was that in September of 2014 I need to be far away from everything I was running away from. And I just somehow had to survive the time in between. I didn´t care about financial matters or any other disadvantages. Even though there was once a point where I knew that it might have not been my dream anymore, only a rational solution for the pain I´d gone through, I persuaded myself that it was a good choice and I would be better after all. I was reaching toward this huge dream of mine as to the sky. I was so stubborn and determined even when my mum was asking me not to go. Part of me knew that I wasn´t happy, but I didn´t know what would made me happy either and this seemed as the safest choice.
It happened four days before I was about to leave. I broke down and realised that I´d never felt so unhappy. The next day I told everyone I wanted to stay no matter what the consequences and now I am here. Still living in my hometown. I have always wanted to travel and I really really hope that one day I will visit China, New York or Paris. But I also know that for now I need to stay here, learn new things and I don´t need to get a degree at one of the best universities in the UK. It wasn´t my dream ever since I came from Amsterdam and I need to face it and not use it to run away.
I was also thinking a lot about what I want since I couldn´t find another goal that I´d set in my life. Yesterday I met with my best friend after about a month and she told me that in this moment my goal might be to be happy. I think this couldn´t be more true. I don´t care about distant future, travelling, publishing or anything else because you might be planning something for months or even years and then tear it all into pieces one day before with one or two phone calls.
I think I just want to be happy.
What makes you happy?
I know it´s autumn already, but I´ve wanted to share with you some pictures of the very last days of August. These pictures have a special meaning for me. Everytime I look at them, I see a girl trying to be strong and determined, asking whether she chose the right thing and convincing herself that she did. At the same time I see that even the biggest dreams can be forgotten, thrown into “the river of the past” and eventually exchanged for some new ones. That´s what happened to me and that is what this is all about.
Have a beautiful Sunday!
Normally I´d say something like this: New journal, new beginning. But this time it is different. Everything is different. New academic year, one tough decision behind me, an unknown future in front of me and although I just “signed up” for another two years (at least) spent in this familiar surroundings, my almost always so trustworthy intuition tells me that this is not going to be a year like any other…
Enjoy the very last moments of this summer season and let´s get ready for some cooler air!
Last summer I learnt that you cannot plan your life. It just happens to you and you need to be spontaneous and flexible. This year I decided to take chances and not to leave anything upon fate. At first it was really nerve-wrecking – living in a fear of missing out on some moments – but then I stopped for a moment, took a deep breath and slowed down. I realised I did´t want to be put under the pressure by the time or society. This life belongs to me and I cannot compare my journey and myself to anyone else.
It´s okay if you like different things or have different values than other people. Don´t let anyone take that freedom away from you because that´s exactly the thing that makes you interesting and unique.
Here are some pictures of the things I bought, wore and loved this summer…
When I give my mum a book for Christmas, I am most likely to read it first (if she ever reads it). Last year wasn´t an exception. I´d heard a lot about Paulo Coelho´s Alchemist, so I decided to buy it for her. Right after I finished what I was reading at a time, I picked this book up and finished it in two days.
Now this is definitely not my favourite book. If I want to read something about religion or the meaning of life, I would prefer non-fiction books. I enjoy reading about historical backgrounds of some major religions or philosophical ideas, “truths” and how much sense they make.
I feel like in this book multiple religions were mixed up into one creating something that is just author´s idea lacking any sense or evidence why people should really accept and believe it. Although I am a rationalist who doesn´t like idealistic novels, because they seem unreal to me, I really like inspirational thoughts you can apply into your life. While I was reading this book, I stumbled across a few of them and I wrote some of them down. So here is why I think this book was worth it…
“You must understand that love never keeps a man from pursuing his Personal Legend. If he abandons that pursuit, it’s because it wasn’t true love…the love that speaks the Language of the World.”
“There is only one way to learn. It’s through action. Everything you need to know you have learned through your journey.”
“Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.”
“I don’t live in either my past or my future. I’m interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you’ll be a happy man. Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we’re living now.”
“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
There is that moment when you´re walking around in your favourite bookshop, you see a certain book cover and without even reading it you know you need to have that book in your personal library. But I didn´t buy it that day. After a few months I went into a library and borrowed it. I should surprise you now with the name of the book, but its name is already in the title. The book is called The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society.
This book, as enchanting as it can possibly be, is all written in letters. Once a young English writer receives a letter from a man from Guernsey, she instantly falls in love with people of the island and their literary society. Their correspondence continues and learns about their lives and what the World War 2 left of them. It´s warm, witty and charming in its own unique way. It makes you feel with the characters as with real people and I promise you will want to read it again!
After I read the book I´d borrowed from the library, I bought it and it has a place in the midst of my favourite books. I believe that there are only a few books that are (really) good and there are even less that you want to read again, but this book is definitely one of them.